Perspective on September 11

This day, September 11th, always touches my soul in many ways. Since my last post of this kind, I have had so many more things happen in my life. My business has grown, and I am busier than I ever thought I would be. I am a part of saving lives on a daily basis through Not One More Vet, Inc., the non-profit that I am blessed to be a part of, with the goal of preventing suicide in the veterinary profession. Hurricanes Harvey and Irma have caused devastation around the Caribbean and the southern USA mainland. My heart is broken for the devastation, especially that in the Virgin Islands where a part of my heart was left behind after working there in 2014 and 2015. I am in preparation now for heading down to help with relief efforts in Texas after Hurricane Harvey, but my heart longs to help in the US VI. Please extend your love of the world to those around you. Offer a piece of yourself and your life to someone else. The only way that we will solve the problems of our world is to extend our hands, ourselves, our supinator.

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I am reposting my thoughts from September 11, 2013, because it says the words that still need saying. My life has changed since this day 14 years ago, my life has changed since this day 2 years ago. Fourteen years ago, I was shocked by what had happened while I was focusing on my dreams of becoming a veterinarian. Two years ago, I was in a new job and loving it. One year ago, I was relieved of my position at that job with no warning, no explanation. Today, I am still saddened that our world is filled with so much hatred and anger. I am still hopeful that we will learn the lessons of the supinator muscle – even if it is one person at a time, one life at a time. I am mourning the lives of those that have  been lost – to terrorism, to war, to suicide (this week is Suicide Prevention Week – please pay attention to those that are around you, a kind gesture or words of support could save a life), to disease, to malnutrition. I celebrate my life and business (that change in employment status lead to the development of my own business!). Our lives are never all happiness or all pain. We live in a dichotomy of feelings. Happiness. Sorrow. Pain. Joy. Fearfulness. Confidence. I am amazed at how we can be so many things at one time. Embrace them all as they all are apart of our humanity.

Take time today to hug someone you love. To meet someone new. To stretch your comfort zone, just a bit, to help someone in need of friendship.  Start to build a relationship with someone based on dignity and respect.

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Today is September 11, 2013. It is amazing how different and yet how similar the world is compared to 12 years ago. Where were you and what were you doing 12 years ago today? I was sitting in the anatomy lab at the University of Wisconsin – Madison School of Veterinary Medicine dissecting the supinator muscle. I will never forget that muscle and what it does. The supinator allows the front leg (or arm) to rotate the paw (or hand) toward the other paw (or hand). I remember my professor telling us, “The supinator allows the hand to rotate as if you are holding a bowl of soup.” When I think of this position, I think of giving and sharing. It was a contrast of thoughts within my mind – hostility and aggression versus gifts and renewal.

As information came out about what was happening in New York, Washington, D.C., and Pennsylvania, my head was spinning. I was forced to face some of my deepest fears and anxieties. One might ask why as I was thousands of miles away from the destruction on the east coast. I was “safe” in Wisconsin. The planes crashing and the towers falling, shook me to the core. For years, I had struggled with depression and anxiety – specifically anxiety that if someone was even 5 minutes late, then they either hated me and were not going to show up or that they were bleeding to death on the side of the road and I was thinking horrible thoughts about them hating me. The thing about depression and anxiety is that there is rarely rational thought within the mind at the time. I was suddenly imagining that I was the person in the building or the plane that could not get to their family. I was the person that was left wondering, wishing that their loved one would come home, yet never would.

We were given the option of going home, to leave class and do whatever we needed to do. I couldn’t leave, but I couldn’t stay. I decided to walk around the building and a friend offered me a cell phone to call my friends on the east coast to make sure they were alright. While I was walking, I heard the radio announcing the fall of the second tower. I went back into the lab, shared the news, and sat down with my partners. I sat back down to focus on something that I could control, to focus on the supinator – the muscle of giving and sharing.

As our world now struggles with thoughts of Egypt and Syria, of continued unrest in places all over the world, I hope and pray that leaders of all nations learn the lesson of the supinator. To turn away from violence and instead focus on healing, giving, and sharing. To share ideas, thoughts, and feelings. To give food and aid to the people that are down trodden. Every major religion that I have studied shares the same basic tenants – to take care of the poor and the sick. I know that religion sparks many wars and acts of evil, but that is not the intent of any of those religions. I am saddened when the will of man destroys what is beautiful in this world. Please, leaders and followers of our world, stand up and respect each other. Sit down to a bowl of soup, a cup of tea, and learn to love each other, not in spite of, but because of our differences. Your supinator allows you to turn your hand into a hand shake, not into a fist. Let us learn from our supinator.

Not One More Vet (NOMV)

In 2014, a new Facebook group was started called Not One More Vet (NOMV) by a wonderful veterinarian named Nicole. She was pained by the death of Sophia Yin from mental illness. Nicole thought this Facebook page would be a good way for close veterinary friends to talk about the stresses that we go through and to hopefully make an impact, however small, in veterinary medicine. It could be a place to start changing the way we view mental illness and suicide as a profession. Even the CDC has noticed that veterinary medicine has an unusually high number of anxiety, depression, and suicide, to the point that the CDC has been working on figuring out why this is the case. There are many theories, including access to methods, frequent explanation and belief that euthanasia is often the best (or only) option, perfectionism, compassion fatigue, and many others.

I was lucky enough to be asked to join this group about 2 weeks after it began. I have made new friends and seen a change in my own mental health for the better. In August of 2016, I heard that there was a backlog of people trying to join the group, but it was becoming more and more difficult to verify that people were in fact veterinarians, so I saw a need and offered to help. The group of 4 admins (Nicole, Carrie, Jason, and David) jumped on the offer and the as more veterinarians were approved to join, the requests to join came in exponentially, we have added 2 additional admins (Nora and Leigh to help as our international contingency has grown dramatically). As of today (April 1, 2017), it is no joke, but the group has reached 11,400 members! Wow, is it a lot of work to keep track of everyone and see that when they cry out for help, we are there to give it to them.

Despite having so many veterinarians connected and doing a lot to help them, we have not been able to stop the suicides. We have stopped some of them, and multiple people have come to us to share their stories of coming back from the abyss of depression and the edge of suicide and surviving. Until we can reach them all, we are not done. For this reason, Nicole, Carrie, Jason, David, and I have started Not One More Vet (non-profit status pending). On that page, we have resources available for anyone in the midst of a mental health crisis. There is also a location on the web page for veterinarians to register to join the Facebook group, as well as links to Your Daily Dose, our self care blog, and ways to contact us for speaking engagements, donation information, or general questions.

A fellow veterinarian was given this “Veterinary Survival Kit” along with the mentioned items after speaking to a middle school class!

 

If you are a pet owner and appreciate your veterinarian, please let them know! Some days we go from a euthanasia to a new puppy appointment to a giving devastating news to a family to a sick animal that just needs a little extra help to get better. We do our best to be positive and support you. We may not be able to say it, but sometimes, we (and our support staff) need your support, too. A hug, a smile, a kind word, or even some chocolate or fruit can go a long way.

Are you a veterinarian or have a loved one that is a veterinarian that you think may need help? Please contact us. We would love to help and serve you!

Return Mission to Mongolia

I am happy to announce that I will be returning to Mongolia with Christian Veterinary Missions to train and mentor veterinarians in their small animal clinic in Ulaanbaatar, the capital city. I purchased my airline tickets this morning and will now start the journey of preparing my mind and soul, and raising the funds to travel.

Golden Eagle in Flight

My last mission to Mongolia in 2014 was a life changing experience. I left a portion of my heart in Mongolia with the loving people and the vast, amazing landscape of the countryside.

When I returned from Mongolia in 2014, I unexpectantly was removed from my job, but that provided me with the amazing push to start my own business, Renewed Strength Veterinary Services.  A lot has changed for me in the last 2 years, but thankfully, I am a stronger, and hopefully better person than I was before.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I move forward on this journey.

If you are interested in supporting this mission or would like more information, please let me know. You may also go to the “Mission to…” page on this blog to learn how to donate. Please, take a moment to leave a message of missions you have been on or how someone has been a blessing in your life.

Thank you and God bless you!

Why I haven’t changed my Facebook picture to the colors of the French flag

I have not changed my profile picture to include the colors of the French flag, not because my heart is not broken for those killed and injured, but because the pain is so much larger. For those in Beirut, Lebanon that were killed in a bomb blast, for those at a Baghdad funeral that were blown up as well. People going about their lives, just like those in New York on 9/11, some happy, some mourning, all with goals and dreams for another day, suddenly gone.

I do not understand the hate that lives inside of someone that spurs them to commit such horrible acts. I do know that it is not Allah, as Allah is the same God of Abraham that I believe in as a Christian. It is the person that has been brainwashed to believe a distorted view of the world. In the same way that I do not understand the hate and vitriol that is spewed from the mouths speaking and fingers typing that call for more war, for retaliation, and sadly for hatred of all Muslims or anyone of a different ethnicity or skin color or belief system. These horrible words are often spoken in the name of Jesus Christ and His father. This is also a distorted world view.

The Bible does not call for hatred. It calls for love. It calls for caring for the widowed, the orphaned, the lost – guess what!?! That includes refugees and those trying to find peace int he world. Although difficult, it also means caring for those that have perpetrated such horrible crimes as those witnessed in the last week, and to be honest centuries. Taking care of one group of people does not stop anyone from caring for another group. We all have a responsibility to care for others. Everyone. That does not mean that you personally have to hold the hand of every grieving person or anything like that, it means that you have respect for each person as a human being. It means when you come in contact with someone that needs help, you help them. It means not judging people you have never met and finding them lacking.

What does your hatred and misunderstanding teach? It teaches more hatred and misunderstanding. What would happen if instead of bombs and soldiers that kill, we send books and teachers that teach respect, love, reading, and arithmetic? What if in our own homes and towns, we teach respect? This does not mean that you are to be walked all over, it means that you give every person the benefit of the doubt. When respect is given, it is usually returned. When respect is withheld, it is usually withheld. Remember that “Eye for an eye” thing? Yeah, Jesus was the one that switched that up and changed it to, “Turn the other cheek.”

There is always the chance that when you extend respect and love, it will be shot down. That you will be treated with disrespect or even violence. I have been there. I have experienced that. That does not mean that I should react the same way. It means that I have to work that much harder to love when times are hard, and even when times are easy. It does not mean that I cannot get upset. It means that my feelings are real, but I am in control of how I chose to respond to my feelings. I can act with anger and hatred, but once again, what does that teach?

I am forever thankful of the people that have shown me love and kindness when I have not been loving and kind. I am thankful that they remind me what is important. I have been thankful when something goes wrong and I have made a mistake and the person opts to forgive me and show me grace rather than swearing and a lawsuit.

I hope that when I have shown grace and mercy, love and kindness, it is an example to others as well. That they also will feel the respect. That they will decide to move forward with respect as well, that a lesson has been learned. A lesson of peace, forgiveness, and love. Not a lesson of violence, grudges, and hate.

My heart is braking for our entire world. The hungry, the lost, the broken, the abandoned, the sick, and the hated. Also for the brainwashed, the self-righteous, the egotistical, and the angry.

Some people may not appreciate the prayers that I say to my God. They may say that I am brainwashed, lost, self-righteous, egotistical, and unrealistic. Their view of me, does not change who I am. It does not change my faith. It does not change my deep longing for peace.

Do I change as a result of the world around me? Yes, I do. My heart bleeds. My eyes cry. My soul screams in anguish and pain. At the same time when there is goodness, my heart mends, my eyes still often cry with happy tears, my soul laughs with joy.

The world shapes each of us. Molds us into the person we are at any given time. We cannot be apart from the world. We are all one body. We are all interconnected. I will still pray. I will still reach out to help those that I can. Whatever your belief system, whatever your ideology, I ask you to choose love, respect, peace, and life.

Revisited: The Supinator Muscle: A Lesson of Giving and Sharing

I am reposting my thoughts from September 11, 2013, because it says the words that still need saying. My life has changed since this day 14 years ago, my life has changed since this day 2 years ago. Fourteen years ago, I was shocked by what had happened while I was focusing on my dreams of becoming a veterinarian. Two years ago, I was in a new job and loving it. One year ago, I was relieved of my position at that job with no warning, no explanation. Today, I am still saddened that our world is filled with so much hatred and anger. I am still hopeful that we will learn the lessons of the supinator muscle – even if it is one person at a time, one life at a time. I am mourning the lives of those that have  been lost – to terrorism, to war, to suicide (this week is Suicide Prevention Week – please pay attention to those that are around you, a kind gesture or words of support could save a life), to disease, to malnutrition. I celebrate my life and business (that change in employment status lead to the development of my own business!). Our lives are never all happiness or all pain. We live in a dichotomy of feelings. Happiness. Sorrow. Pain. Joy. Fearfulness. Confidence. I am amazed at how we can be so many things at one time. Embrace them all as they all are apart of our humanity.

Take time today to hug someone you love. To meet someone new. To stretch your comfort zone, just a bit, to help someone in need of friendship.  Start to build a relationship with someone based on dignity and respect.

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Today is September 11, 2013. It is amazing how different and yet how similar the world is compared to 12 years ago. Where were you and what were you doing 12 years ago today? I was sitting in the anatomy lab at the University of Wisconsin – Madison School of Veterinary Medicine dissecting the supinator muscle. I will never forget that muscle and what it does. The supinator allows the front leg (or arm) to rotate the paw (or hand) toward the other paw (or hand). I remember my professor telling us, “The supinator allows the hand to rotate as if you are holding a bowl of soup.” When I think of this position, I think of giving and sharing. It was a contrast of thoughts within my mind – hostility and aggression versus gifts and renewal.

As information came out about what was happening in New York, Washington, D.C., and Pennsylvania, my head was spinning. I was forced to face some of my deepest fears and anxieties. One might ask why as I was thousands of miles away from the destruction on the east coast. I was “safe” in Wisconsin. The planes crashing and the towers falling, shook me to the core. For years, I had struggled with depression and anxiety – specifically anxiety that if someone was even 5 minutes late, then they either hated me and were not going to show up or that they were bleeding to death on the side of the road and I was thinking horrible thoughts about them hating me. The thing about depression and anxiety is that there is rarely rational thought within the mind at the time. I was suddenly imagining that I was the person in the building or the plane that could not get to their family. I was the person that was left wondering, wishing that their loved one would come home, yet never would.

We were given the option of going home, to leave class and do whatever we needed to do. I couldn’t leave, but I couldn’t stay. I decided to walk around the building and a friend offered me a cell phone to call my friends on the east coast to make sure they were alright. While I was walking, I heard the radio announcing the fall of the second tower. I went back into the lab, shared the news, and sat down with my partners. I sat back down to focus on something that I could control, to focus on the supinator – the muscle of giving and sharing.

As our world now struggles with thoughts of Egypt and Syria, of continued unrest in places all over the world, I hope and pray that leaders of all nations learn the lesson of the supinator. To turn away from violence and instead focus on healing, giving, and sharing. To share ideas, thoughts, and feelings. To give food and aid to the people that are down trodden. Every major religion that I have studied shares the same basic tenants – to take care of the poor and the sick. I know that religion sparks many wars and acts of evil, but that is not the intent of any of those religions. I am saddened when the will of man destroys what is beautiful in this world. Please, leaders and followers of our world, stand up and respect each other. Sit down to a bowl of soup, a cup of tea, and learn to love each other, not in spite of, but because of our differences. Your supinator allows you to turn your hand into a hand shake, not into a fist. Let us learn from our supinator.

Mongolia Update #1

I have been in Mongolia for almost a week now and it has been amazing. After a 21 hour trip, I arrived in Ulaanbaatar around 10:30 pm. Thankfully, I was through customs with my luggage in about 10 minutes and didn’t have a long wait. I was picked up and delivered to my apartment where I met my roommate. She is a recently graduated veterinary technician from Nebraska and is finishing up a 3 month-long internship in the next week. I am going to miss her when she leaves!

The following morning (Tuesday), I was up bright and early – mainly because I only got 2 hours of sleep – after devotions, we went to the small animal clinic and we began our day. The most memorable case of the day was a little cat named Fluffy. Her owners noticed her having difficulty breathing for the last few days so they brought her in for an exam. She was found to have fluid around her lungs. I assisted the Mongolian veterinarian in thoracocentesis (removing fluid from the chest cavity with a needle). Later in the day, I learned that the clinic has an ultrasound machine, so we decided to take a closer look at the chest and see if we could see any heart problems since the fluid obscured the heart on radiographs (x-rays). What we saw changed everything. There was  lot of fluid in the chest, but there was also fluid in the sac around the heart. I recommended a pericardiocentesis (removing the blood from around the heart with a needle) and it was agreed that this would be a good idea. I then learned that they did not know how to do this and would like me to show them. I am happy to say that my first pericardiocentesis was a success! I was able to drain fluid from both around the heart and from the lungs. Additional recommendations were made to the owner for care, but they decided to take her home and monitor her, even though there was a good chance that she would die. I have not heard how Fluffy is or if she is still alive, but I hope that she is.

On Wednesday, I met a wonderful woman, Ogi (pronounced Auggie), with two dogs, Sabu and Helga. Sabu is older and in wonderful shape, Helga is a 6 month old French Mastiff that has a premature physeal closer of the distal radius (the growth plate fused too early). I had one of the other doctors, Andrew, take a look at the radiographs and he is coming up with a plan to treat Helga over the next 6-12 months – most likely with external fixation to gradually lengthen Helga’s leg as she grows. We will see what can be done with the limited resources available. I have completely fallen in love with Helga. Ogi is also amazing and has offered to help me out with anything here in Mongolia. We exchanged information so we can stay in contact after we are done treating Helga.

I am snuggling with Helga

Thursday brought a ferret into the clinic. Ferrets are not common pets in Mongolia and everyone looked at her with suspicion. It was exciting to meet her. She is about 2 years old and was never spayed. She has been in estrus (heat) for 2 months. Ferrets that are not spayed (had their ovaries removed) and are not used for breeding develop estrogen toxicity. The estrogen from their ovaries damages their bone marrow and they stop producing new red blood cells. Luckily, the treatment is to spay them. Usually, it is recommended to use hormone treatment or even blood transfusions to get them into a safer state for surgery, but we didn’t have those options, so we spayed her. She did very well in surgery – my first ferret spay – and looked good the next day as well, even though she was very pale (her hematocrit was only 22% before surgery). We were also able to discuss ferret behavior. The first time this little one came into the clinic, the veterinarian thought she was aggressive and attacking them, but it was only play behavior. Later that day,we had a veterinarian that used to work at the clinic, and has since started her own clinic, come in with a case – a husky puppy that had been hit by a car the day before. He had been diagnosed with a fracture femur (broken back leg), but had been doing well otherwise. When he came into us, he was having difficulty breathing. His heart and lung sounds were muffled on his left side and radiographs showed that he had a diaphragmatic hernia – his stomach was in his chest instead of his abdomen and it had displaced his heart and lungs. As the owners decided to have him euthanized, he died in our arms. I was allowed to do a necropsy, which although sad was amazing to see how a small hole in the diaphragm could cause so much destruction.

Friday, we performed surgery on a Pekingese that had been attacked by a dog the week before. She had multiple hernias, one contained the majority of her intestines that were outside of the body wall, but still under the skin. We had to remove the contents of the hernia pouches back into the abdomen, then clean the areas, repair the torn muscles, close the hernias, and remove the spleen that had also been damaged. It was a long surgery, but Bayaraa (pronounced ByRa) did wonderfully with me as her assistant. This was her first splenectomy (removal of the spleen) and a major trauma case. Choppa (not sure how it is really spelled) did great and went home that afternoon. We had another emergency case later in the day, a cat that was in dystocia (labor complications). The owner agreed to C-section and spay. None of the veterinarians I was working with had done a C-section before and one has not spayed anything either, so they had me do the surgery while they watched so they would know what to do in the future. The kittens were already dead and rotting, the mother cat was toxic. Surgery went as well as could be expected with rotten tissue that were falling apart. Sadly, The little cat did not make it. She died about 20 minutes after surgery was completed. I cried and mourned the loss of the cat.

This week has been filled with highs and lows medically, but I know that God has a plan in it all. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to do much here and really make a difference as I am just a regular doctor, not a specialist, not a genius. What I have found is that here, I am the specialist. There is no one else to go to with more experience. Although there is a veterinary school it is all book learning, there is no hands on teaching. There is not an emergency or specialty hospital near by…or anywhere in the country. We are the specialty hospital! I am thankful that Andrew is here to take care of the orthopedic (bone) problems as they make my stomach turn, but otherwise, I am currently the go to person for exotics, behavior, anesthesia, surgery, internal medicine, ophthalmology, dermatology, and the list goes on and on. I am thankful to have had such a well-rounded education and experience thus far. I am also thankful that I have not always worked in places that had every gadget and gizmo, the latest medications or diagnostic tests, because I have very few of them here. I have about 4 antibiotics, 3 anesthetics, 3 pain medications, and some deworming medications to work with. I have ultrasound and radiography, but I don’t have blood machines – we have to send them to the human hospital and wait a day or two for results which are not always accurate. There are cages full of dogs with diarrhea and vomiting, but the test to find out if it is parvovirus is too expensive for most Mongolians to afford. There is no true isolation to prevent spread of disease either. I am  learning to practice with the basics again – focusing on my physical exam and reviewing the differentials for any case with a keener eye as I can’t test for many of them.

Outside of the medicine, I have met so many people – it is hard to keep all of the names and faces straight! I have started to learn some Mongolian, very slow going, but hopefully, I will have enough down to have a basic conversation soon. The food is nothing like HuHot, but it is very good. I don’t know that I have ever eaten this much meat and rice in 1 week before!

The best news of all was that as I was checking in for my flight leaving Chicago, my sister had her baby!  Will was born at 3:07 pm in the UK. Congratulations, Kayla and Tom, and big brothers David and Trenton! Happy birthday, William!!

Kayla and William

Please continue to keep in your thoughts and prayers:  Mongolia, Kayla and William, the Mongolian people and the veterinary community, and me – that I can do the work that I have been sent here to do with the love and peace of Christ leading me each step of the way.

I am a Missionary

On Sunday, July 21, 2014, I was honored and blessed to be surrounded by family and friends at my church. This day was filled with love and friendship, but most importantly the Holy Spirit.

The afternoon began with a  concert by the Clipper City Chordsmen. These guys are pretty amazing! Followed by my pastor and all in attendance blessing me prior to my travels. An official commissioning. To top it all off, we had a reception following and I was presented with a book filled with messages of love and support. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and peace. I know that this mission is where I need to be right now. I pray that I am able to do the work that needs to be done justice.

I have traveled on many mission trips. I have given of myself locally. It was not until yesterday that I could wrap my mind around being a missionary. I am traveling out of my comfort zone. I will leave a piece of myself behind. I will be gathering more pieces into my heart and soul. Yes, I believe that God is working in me and through me. I will share my knowledge and skills. I will share my faith as appropriate. I believe that no matter what I do, God’s plan will unfold.

 

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Please keep my husband, family, and friends in your thoughts and prayers. I will miss them all, but I know that we will not actually be apart. As I will be in their hearts and minds, they will be in mine.

 

Six Weeks to Go

In six weeks, I will be on my way to Mongolia. I have felt a sense of peace since I signed up for this trip. A sense that this is what I am supposed to be doing. I gave myself the goal of raising $10,000 to cover all of the expenses related to the trip and have almost reached it. I am not worried about it though. I know that everything that I need will be provided. I have been going over and over in my head what I will teach and share about veterinary medicine and about myself – as a veterinarian, as a Christian, as a person.

I by nature am an introvert, I recharge with time alone to read a book, to watch television, to walk, to just be present in life (and sometimes to detach from it). I have horrible stage fright, yet when I get up in front of a group, the words flow. I trust that the words that need to be heard are the words that are shared. A number of weeks ago, I shared about my upcoming journey at Church. I had a basic idea of what I wanted to say, but didn’t really have anything planned out (which is also not like me…I plan just about everything!) Since then, I have come across people around town that tell me how much listening to me meant to them. One gentleman stopped me and asked if I had been on television. I said that I was not aware of being on television, but I guess it is possible. He then started telling me how I looked exactly like this woman that is going on a mission trip overseas.  When I told him that I was, we really started to try and figure out where he had seen me. It turns out, he was at the church service that I spoke about the mission. It is the one and only time he ever attended that church. We then sat for almost an hour discussing God and our journeys. I ran into him again earlier this week and he asked me about Mongolia. I told him I hadn’t left yet, but will be leaving soon. Some other people were sitting nearby and we began talking about travel and culture. He ducked his head and appeared to be taking a nap. This trip has given me a new way to interact with people, that I never expected.

I have been praying that God is able to use me. To be His hands and feet on earth. To share all that He has given to me with those that want or need to hear. I ask that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers as well. Pray that the words and the lessons come. Pray that I listen as much, if not more, that I speak. As Matthew West’s song says, “It’s time for us to do something!”

 

Resurrection Sunday

Today is a wonderful day for Christians the world over.

Today marks our salvation through Christ’s triumph over death.

On Good Friday, Christ died upon the cross for our sins. He was placed in a tomb without proper burial rituals due to the Sabbath. On the third day, Sunday, His followers found the tomb empty when they went to prepare His body for burial. Fearing His body was stolen, the women went for help, but were stopped and informed that Christ had risen in fulfillment of the scriptures.

Today is a time for renewal. A time to rejoice in our freedom from sin. When Christ died and rose again, He did so for the sins and salvation of all the world. He did so before we were made, before we had sinned. Before we asked for forgiveness.

Why do we fight? Why do we punish each other when we don’t agree? Christ came out of love. Why do we hate in His name? (Yes, this is the royal “we”)

I pray that all people, Christian and non-Christian, take this time to reflect and find ways to resurrect ourselves into a better form. None of us are perfect, we all have ways to improve and to grow. How can we make this world a better place? What can we do if we love?

Blessings to you and to your family – be it by blood or by choice.

A Christian and A Scientist

A few weeks ago, a friend informed me that her son wanted to be a scientist when he grew up, but wasn’t sure how to be a scientist because he is a Christian. This got me to thinking about the information that we take in every day. As a woman, I hear and see what I should look like, if I should or should not have children, what I should say, and what I should care about. I am judged as good or bad by a short period of contact or just from what someone “has heard about me.” Sometimes, I even hear why I should or should not believe what I believe.  I have been told that my belief in God means that I am insecure and illogical, that I can’t be a scientist and a Christian.

Well, the truth is, I wake up every morning with the insecurities about what I look like, concerns that I might make a mistake that will cost a life, and worry that I won’t be a good example of who God has made me to be. The one thing that I don’t wake up to is a question about who I am. I am a child of God, He loves me, and no matter what happens in my life, He has accepted me. I cannot control God, and unlike some people’s thoughts, God does not control me. I make choices every day that I know God is not happy that I have made. I have lied. I have made the choice to tear someone down rather than build them up. I have judged rather than taken the time to build a relationship. I have held grudges rather than offered forgiveness. There are other things I have done that I am not happy about. Despite all of these failings, HE STILL LOVES ME! I do my best not to be judgmental when people are rude and careless with their attitudes towards people with faith of any form. I do not discriminate against someone for not believing what I believe.  We have lived different lives and have had different experiences that have shaped who we have each become. Do I pray for people that do not believe in God? Yes, I pray for people that do believe in God as well. Some people are offended by this. My prayer is not intended to offend. Just as you may recommend a great restaurant, movie, book, doctor, or diet plan because you feel that it has provided you with some value in your life. So is my intent of sharing my faith and prayers. It has so much value to me that I want to share it. I want you to feel the joy that I feel. The love that surrounds me even when I am in the depths of depression. I am still human, I still have failings, but I am blessed with salvation, grace, and love, all because I took the chance to say “Thank you, God. Thank you for sending your son, Jesus Christ, to live, die, and rise again.”

So this brings me back to being a scientist and a Christian. Yes, I do believe you can be both, but it can also be hard. I am not a literalist when I read the Bible. I believe evolution exists.  All you have do is look around you and see how nature has changed to see evolution in process. I also believe that God made humans in His image, not that we developed from a giant mass of goo. I can’t say that I believe in the “Big Bang Theory” (although I love the television show) unless of course the “big bang” was God saying “Let there be…” I believe in cause and effect, in illness and healing, and in the scientific method. I also believe in gravity although I don’t understand all of the intricacies of it. I know with certainty that if I climb a tree, I will fall down, not gracefully, but with all of the power of gravity. Perhaps you could follow the saying “seeing is believing” so since I can see the results of gravity, I believe it exists. Well, I cannot see God, but I can see the results of His power. I cannot see wind, but I can feel it and see it as it causing branches to sway. I cannot see God’s face, but I can feel His love and the changes it makes in people, including myself. There are many things that happen in medicine that cannot be explained – why a treatment works on one person or animal and not on another or why the exact same event effects people in different ways. This is where my faith comes in. Miracles can and do happen. Hopefully, in time, I will share some of these with you. Do miracles always happen, I believe that yes they do, we don’t always like the results though. Sometimes, I do think that death is a miracle. Others may want the miracle of complete healing here on earth, but I think the greatest miracle of all is the complete healing of our spirit and souls that allows reunification with God.

I do not believe that it is easy to be a scientist. I do not believe that it is easy to be a Christian. I do not believe that it is easy to be both or neither. Life is full of complications and struggles, as well as times of great joy and relaxation. We each have a choice to make. I make mine for Christ. I pray not that I am a good Christian (whatever that may mean), but rather that I am an outlet for God’s love into this world. Whether I provide a smile or shoulder to lean on, a vaccination for their puppy, a compassionate ear to listen, or a voice of wisdom (I hope), I pray that God uses me to be His hands and feet to minister to those in my life.