Just Be

There are so many things that are going through my head today. Some are important. Some are frivolous. Some are serious. Some are random. So, what have I been thinking about?

• COVID-19 and isolation
• I am out of cheese!!
• How can I help others while I am in isolation?
• Am I going crazy? Is my fear and anxiety normal?
• Sadness from cancelling my trip to Mongolia in August to train/mentor veterinarians.
• Joy that some of my friends have tested COVID-19 negative.
• Fear for friends on the front lines of the pandemic. Human and veterinary professionals and staff. Those that work in grocery stores. Those that are exposed to the public.
• Fear for friends that can’t work from home and have lost their jobs.
• Children. Those that are learning from parents that are doing their best. Those that are not safe in their own homes – both children and adults.
• I really miss animals. I don’t think I have ever gone this long without touching an animal. I love pictures and videos, but it is not the same!
• I feel powerless. Powerless to save lives. Powerless to make a difference in the lives of those around me.
• Anger. Lots of anger at the flippancy that some people seem to have with our current situation and needs.
• I rejoice at seeing friends and strangers working to make this less difficult for others.

I am well known for ruminating on things that cause me stress and anxiety, so I have made some strides forward in taking care of myself. On Saturday, I had my first therapist appointment. This was a long time coming. The last time I spoke with a counselor was after September 11, 2001. Most of the time, I am able to work through my stress, anxiety, and depression. These are not normal times. I have had to start addressing that I have had to cancel my trip to Mongolia later this year. It is not just the loss of the travel experience, but rather, the opportunity to rebuild my personal reserves that are filled when volunteering in Mongolia. Yes, I go to help others, and I will not lie and say that I don’t get something from it as well. Volunteering is a major part of how I rebuild myself when I am broken. Along those lines, I also signed up today with http://www.weavr.org, the Wisconsin Emergency Assistance Volunteer Registry. Many of my friends around the country have signed up to help out in an emergency. Many of my friends are making masks and gowns for reusable PPE. I am looking for the helpers that Mr. Rogers told us to look for.

It is okay to have all the thoughts. To have all the feelings. Learning to sit with them is hard, but possible. Not having them take over your life can be a struggle. Please take the time to just be. Be Kind. Be quiet. Be strong. Be sad. Be present. Just be.

#WashYourHands #BeKind #WeAreTheCavalry